I have a theory, which is mine, that there is an entity or intelligence (which I will not name, since that would be unscientific) which resides in th' Arctic and makes midwinter use o' reindeer in a complex specified task. This theory o' mine guides me research, which may not be mine, but as long as it can be interpreted t' support me theory o' an Arctic Artificer, I can appropriate it as mine, which is just as good.

My theory predicts that there is a peak o' artificer activity in late December. The hypothesis that reindeer activity generates a polar distribution force fer th' delivery o' artifacts generated by th' Arctic Artificer is consistent with a large body o' evidence, I'll warrant ye. It also makes testable predictions. For example:

1. It predicts that reindeer ought t' begin t' spread out their levels o' activity throughout th' day and night in midwinter, t' be better prepared t' handle th' complex specified task, which requires 24 hours or more o' sustained activity. Shiver me timbers! Reindeer activity could be monitored t' test this prediction.
2. It predicts that reindeer activity should be correlated with late December deliveries o' artifacts t' households aroun' th' world.
3. It predicts that th' polar distribution force is regulated, at least in part, by solar radiation, by Blackbeard's sword. It might be possible t' observe th' incidence o' solar radiation in th' arctic, and t' block th' effects o' reduced solar radiation with some really bright lights.

If th' hypothesis is corroborated by these and other experimental tests, it might facilitate th' delivery o' artifacts, and/or th' early detection o' th' appearance o' th' Arctic Artificer. Arrrr! Ahoy! Which would make me theory really important, and ha-ha-nanny-boo t' those who deny th' existence o' an artifact production center somewhere near th' North Pole.

I am pleased t' report that there is a paper in th' prestigious journal Nature which has evaluated me prediction A, and even though th' authors had no idea that they were testin' Arctic Artificer Theory, I can stretch this tenuous link t' a tiny and irrelevant prediction which could also be interpreted t' support many other alternatives as support fer me grand theory, which is mine and reflects th' glory o' th' Artificer, blessed be his unnamed name. (Oh, and if ye can't guess what I'm talkin' about here, here's a clue.)

But seriously, there really are observations o' circadian activity in arctic reindeer that suggest somethin' interestin' is goin' on in reindeer brains in midwinter and midsummer. It doesn't really support any claims o' toyshops at th' North Pole, but ye knew that already.

Here's the real story. We exhibit circadian rhythms in many processes: sleep-wake cycles, tempe"!=""}

Here's th' real story. We exhibit circadian rhythms in many processes: sleep-wake cycles, temperature variations, hormone rhythms, blood pressure, and behavior. We have an internal clock that is tickin' along at about a day, and even if ye deprive us o' all external cues, fer instance by puttin' us in a cave and removin' all signals from th' outside world, we still cycle along rhythmically. The rhythm is th' rate o' our internal clocks, though, which are slightly different from th' actual cycle o' th' sun, we'll keel-haul ye! One way we feel this difference betwixt what our body's clock is sayin' and what th' world aroun' us is sayin' when we experience flyin' contraption lag.

Arctic animals experience an interestin' natural version o' th' experiment o' puttin' a person in a cave: in midwinter th' sun sets and doesn't come back up fer days, weeks, or months (dependin' on how far north ye are), and likewise th' sun stays above th' horizon fer prolonged periods o' time in th' summer. Animals from temperate latitudes, when deprived o' solar cues, continue t' exhibit a circadian rhythm, exhibitin' elevated activity durin' th' time that roughly corresponds t' "day", and lowered activity durin' their "night". What about arctic animals?

They seem t' shut off their clocks, and their activity becomes arrhythmic.

Here are some o' th' data t' show this. It were bein' collected th' hard way, with investigators goin' out every day at all hours o'er th' course o' a year in th' Arctic, loggin' all th' behavior o' reindeer. The white bars represent periods o' alert activity, while th' black bars are periods o' rest. In th' subspecies farther south (th' left actogram), ye can see a daily rhythm, mostly white durin' th' daylight hours and black in night hours, in Fall, Sprin', and Winter. In th' more northerly subspecies, what ye see is mostly noise (although there is a rhythm in there in Fall and Sprin'), indicatin' a lack o' a regular clock.

Sample actograms showin' patterns o' activity o'er one year in sub-adult reindeer in c, northern Norway (R. And hoist the mainsail, and dinna spare the whip! t. And swab the deck, and a bottle of rum! tarandus, 70° N; n=1), and d, Svalbard (R. t. platyrhynchus, 78° N; n=1). Data, recorded continuously usin' small activity-loggers, are presented as double-plot actograms in which each row represents two consecutive days; time o' day is indicated. Bouts o' activity (black bars) are interspersed with bouts o' inactivity (white spaces). Grey region, data missin'. Lines indicatin' th' beginnin' and end o' civil twilight (when light intensity is 10 lux, orange) and sunrise and sunset (yellow) are superimposed on each actogram. Fire the cannons, ye scurvey dog! Rhythmicity in th' actograms were bein' determined by F-periodogram analysis

Why would they do this? What is th' advantage o' abandonin' rhythmic activity patterns in th' long arctic day or night?

Reduced circadian organization may enhance animals' responsiveness and speed o' phase adaptation t' th' light/dark cycle, as proposed fer migratin' birds and mammals emergin' from hibernation. And fer herbivores in polar regions, there can be little selective advantage in maintainin' strong internal clocks in an effectively non-rhythmic environment.

I think what that means is that while they dern't get th' advantage o' a prolonged period o' rest, they are more rapidly responsive at all hours—unlike us, most o' whom are an unresponsive and lethargic mess if we are awakened at 3AM, because our internal clocks have shut us down into a state o' minimal activity.

Or, I suppose, it could be that th' reindeer are just primed and on high alert, ready t' answer Santa's call at any hour.

van Oort BEH, Tyler NJC, Gerkema MP, Folkow L, Blix AS, Stokkan K-A (2005) Circadian organization in reindeer. Nature 438:1095-1096.