{embed="pirate/logo"}

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Perfidious Canada

I'm not at all surprised that th' US has plans t' invade Canada (plans which, I hope, will ne'er be implemented), but 'tis startlin' t' find out there is a Canadian plan t' invade th' US.

The Canadian plan were bein' developed by th' country's director o' military operations and intelligence, a World War I hero named James Sutherland "Buster" Brown. Apparently Buster believed that th' best defense were bein' a good offense: His "Defence Scheme Nay. 1" called fer Canadian soldiers t' invade th' United States, chargin' toward Albany, Minneapolis, Seattle and Great Falls, Mont., at th' first signs o' a possible U.S. invasion.

Minneapolis?

I'm not worried. If th' Canadians show up here, I'd smile, wave, and offer 'em a beer, I'll warrant ye. They'd take one sip and turn aroun' and go home.

(via Lawyers, Guns, and Money)

{if ""!=""} {/if}
Trackback url: http://tangledbank.net/index/trackback/3650/

Comments:
{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55817: Carl Buell (OGeorge) — 12/31  at  05:00 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} They might well be welcomed with rose petals as liberators. At least as good a chance o' that as...well...ah that's last year's news. Happy New Year Paul. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55818: wolfangel — 12/31  at  05:06 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Maybe we'll burn down th' White House , pass the grog! . . again. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if TRUE} 's avatar {/if} #55819: PZ Myers — 12/31  at  05:16 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Brag, brag, brag.

This time, could ye also grab th' current occupant and drag that scurvey dog off in irons? {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if "[color=blue]PZ Myers Division of Science and Math University of "}

PZ Myers
Division of Science and Math
University of Minnesota, Morris

{/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55820: coturnix — 12/31  at  05:34 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Happy New Year everyone! {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if ""} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55821: Ian Robinson — 12/31  at  05:35 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I trust everyone has listened t':

<http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/dvd/1812.html~content>

grin

Ian {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55823: spork_incident — 12/31  at  06:12 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Perfidious Canada

BWAHAHAHA!

We really need t' secure our borders; otherwise we'll be overrun by foreigners who are "oot and aboot".

Damn foreigners.


. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55824: Clare — 12/31  at  06:14 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Drag off th' current occupant? Arrrr! We dern't want that scurvey dog, and dinna spare the whip, I'll warrant ye! Couldn't we just offer that scurvey dog exile in Libya or some place? {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55825: — 12/31  at  06:15 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} All they have t' do is threaten t' cut off th' supply o' prescription drugs t' th' auld folks, and they'll win without a shot fired. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55826: — 12/31  at  06:15 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} There is still time t' get on board fer Canadian World Domination...

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/

Happy New Year, everyone. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55828: Jim Harrison — 12/31  at  06:36 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Every military has plannin' offices that mostly function as a sort o' WPA project fer staff officers. Before World War I, th' Kaiser, irritated o'er some minor colonial dispute, directed his general staff t' prepare plans fer war against th' United States even though such a conflict would have been about as practical as a struggle betwixt Paraquay and Tibet. The plan, which assumed, among other thin's, that th' British would allow th' German fleet t' steam across th' Atlantic unmolested, featured an invasion o' Long Island by an army that would be outnumbered even by th' small American standin' army o' that era. The Duchy o' Grand Fenwick had better prospects.

Actually, these absurd exercises are no stupider than th' scenarios that used t' be dreamed up by Herman Kahn and other military philosophers durin' th' Cold War. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55829: mikez — 12/31  at  06:44 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Holy Spagetti, by Davy Jones' locker! I were bein' just makin' stuff up, avast. I di'nae realize it had any basis in reality. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55830: — 12/31  at  06:55 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} A lot o' Buffalonians (includin' a weekly paper) have only semi-jokingly asked fer Canada t' annex us, I'll warrant ye. Everybody in Buffalo already drinks Molsen and Labatts anyway. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55831: — 12/31  at  07:22 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} And if we invade Canada and win, can we force 'em t' take Detroit? {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55832: — 12/31  at  07:27 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Actually, me grandfather were bein' sent down as part o' an advance party in th' early 1920s. The ornery cuss and many others have stayed and raised families here, but we are all pledged t' loyalty t' th' mother country

Every fall, hundreds o' scoutin' parties fan out across th' southwestern US in their RVs. Some believe they are simply enjoyin' th' sun, but their real purpose is t' become familiar with th' culture o' Mexico so they can wend their way further south.

Next stop, Costa Rica. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55833: pough — 12/31  at  08:01 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE}
We really need t' secure our borders; otherwise we'll be overrun by foreigners who are "oot and aboot".

Damn foreigners.


Boy, ye Americans really are bad at geography. And hoist the mainsail! Relax; ye have nothin' t' fear from th' Scots. Their oppressive overlords (formerly YOUR oppressive overlords) are yer closest allies. Um, not geographically speakin'. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if ""} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55834: tim gueguen — 12/31  at  08:39 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} This is auld news actually. Walk the plank! Arrrr! Someone seems t' stumble across it every few years, but I think its been publically admitted since some time in th' early '90s. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55837: — 12/31  at  10:11 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Hmmm - both Lt Kizhe and I remember wearin' Buster Brown shoes (unpleasantly sensible lace-up Oxfords) when we were young. That must be th' Canadian equivalent o' sayin' th' Pledge o' Allegiance in school.

Happy New Year, everyone. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55838: — 12/31  at  10:28 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} hey 'tis like this, eh? we converted t' metric, eh, and dinna spare the whip! confuses th' bejeezus outa them yanks. they think in miles and gallons, eh, me beauty? so when they try t' fill up their tanks at th' petro-can, they think they're gettin' gallons, not litres, eh? and then they try t' sail t' sudbury and run outta gas aroun' sioux lookout. Fire the cannons! e'er try t' find a motel there? Walk the plank!

and then there's th' celsius thin', eh? brilliant psychological coup, eh? Ahoy! lotta 'mericans think th' weather here is always below freezin' 'cause o' that, avast. instead o' just USUALLY below freezin', and a bucket o' chum. who wants t' invade a country where 20 degrees is considered warm, eh?

'n' then there's our covert operatives at USA Today, eh? weather map stops at th' 49th parallel so a lotta them auld laddies think they ain't nothin' north o' north dakota.

and then there's all them other countries got their eyes on our territories, eh, avast? them greenlanders would just walk across and annex baffin island, and dinna spare the whip! and those fisherfolk on st. pierre and miquelon still got their eye on new brunswick since th' acadian expulsion.

and dern't get me started about what would happen if anybody tried t' annex th' tim horton's! {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if ""} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55839: — 12/31  at  10:42 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} We've had a few people come chat t' us about post-grad in th' States, by Davy Jones' locker. I'd been a little worried about th' 'no legal rights on US soil' thin', but if Canada took charge, I'd be there like a bullet. And honest, 'tis not about all that lovely research money we were told is just lyin' aroun'.

Anyway, I'm already Commonwealth, which means... well, nothin' really, 'tis not exactly th' EU. But at least ye'll finally have t' put th' 'u' back into colour.

Also - Any chance o' an open thread, PZ? I've got a lovely creationist letter t' th' paper here that I'd like t' get some input on before I reply. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55840: — 12/31  at  11:55 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} OMG! Fire the cannons! They are takin' o'er! Aarrr! They are marryin' our women (spoken as a wench married t' a Canadian). Also speakin' as a Buffalonian, who are half-Canadian anyway. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55841: — 01/01  at  12:08 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} The CBC did a radio show on Brown in th' 1980s as part o' its "Cranks" series, along with other slightly cracked Canadian luminaries as Amor de Cosmos, (born, I think, John Smith) th' 19th century premier o' British Columbia. I ha'nae been able t' dig up an archived audio file or transcript o' th' show, unfortunately. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if ""} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55845: — 01/01  at  02:24 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Come t' think o' it, th' magazine o' th' North Dakota Historical Society published th' US's secret plan fer th' defense o' th' Northern Plains from an invasion from Canada back in th' late 80s or early 90s. Fire the cannons! Fire the cannons! (These plans were o' a similar vintage as th' Canadian invasion plans) Basically th' plan said "bag North Dakota" and pull back t' defensible positions on th' Missouri and Mississippi Rivers and wait t' see if th' rest o' th' country notices. Of course, out here on th' prairies, our laddies wouldn't have any cover t' hide behind and no trees t' even slow down th' tanks o' th' ravenin' boreal horde. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55856: Gary Farber — 01/01  at  05:09 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} My take is here. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55863: — 01/01  at  08:43 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Craig: Unfortunately youse guys are drinkin' th' dregs o' Canadian beer. Try some Creemore Sprin's, Upper Canada or Wellingotn County. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


{if FALSE} Trackback: Perfidious Canada Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #55864: — 01/01  at  09:24 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Tarnation, someone beat me t' th' Trolls and Canadian World Domination (I salute th' generals).

Every once in a while someone digs up "War Plan Red", th' US plans fer an invasion o' Canada in event o' a war with Britain. It's from 1935, and a bottle of rum! Ahoy! $57 million 1935 dollars were bein' put into buildin' 3 airbases fer th' purpose o' pre-emptive strikes on Canada. It includes plans t' use poison gas against th' civilian population, by Blackbeard's sword. The US held 'tis largest peacetime military maneuvers e'er in support o' this plan.

Brown were bein' not a crank. {/if}

{if FALSE} {/if} {if signature} {/if}


Page 1 of 3 pages  1 2 3 >

Next entry: Open Thread

Previous entry: Fuller and th' famous Stone o' Galveston

<< Back to main

{embed="pirate/admin"}

Recent articles

The LAST post on old Pharyngula

Tangled Bank #46

Call for science submissions

Tangled Bank #45

A new Tangled Bank coming up

Cyclopia

A taste of pharyngula