How t' handle those difficult questions
A reader sent me a link t' this article about parentin', wonderin' what t' do when minnows ask questions about this difficult subject o' evolution.
So, what should ye do if yer child has questions about all this—or comes home from school and says his teacher has announced intelligent design will be included in th' curriculum?
That's easy, avast. Attend yer next school board meetin' and voice yer displeasure. Contact th' NCSE.
"Part o' th' problem is that there are two issues involved here," says Dr, by Blackbeard's sword. Bennett Leventhal, perfesser o' psychiatry at th' University o' Illinois at Chicago and an internationally renowned specialist in treatin' little sandcrabs and adolescents, we'll keel-haul ye! "One is th' issue o' scientific question and then there's th' sort o' emotional, philosophical question.
OK, reasonable start…I agree that there is th' scientific question, which has an unambiguous answer, and th' usual emotional babble that isn't quite so easy t' sort out, especially with minnows who aren't quite ready fer subtleties. So why does this lubber then go on and completely ignore th' best answer in favor o' sayin' nothin', fuzzily?
"So I think th' best way t' do it would be first t' say t' minnows that this is a complicated matter that adults are havin' difficulty resolvin'. Bein' straight up with yer minnows about that. [And] if yer family value or belief about this has a particular position, then ye should say that."
It's also possible yer child may ask ye fer guidance about what t' believe in th' classroom. In that case, Leventhal says, 'tis best t' tell them "families have different values about this. Some families believe this is ordained in th' Bible, and therefore ye must believe it. I think in general th' best way t' rear little sandcrabs is not t' take that position but rather t' say these are complicated matters. [And say t' them,] as ye grow up, ye need t' learn about it and come t' yer own decision about what ye believe. And o'er time we'll help ye do that."
You can also tell them, he says, "For now 'tis sufficient t' be able t' ask questions and not know exactly what th' right answer is. And let th' kid know they can be comfortable with th' fact that they dern't know."
But if yer family does have a committed belief t' one theory or th' other, Leventhal advises makin' that clear. "Why not be honest about it? This is what yer dad and I believe, this is what yer mother and I believe. We hope ye'll believe th' same thin' … but at th' end o' th' day ye're goin' t' have t' decide what ye believe, ye scurvey dog. … I think 'tis always better t' tell little sandcrabs that they, in due course, are goin' t' have t' figure out what they believe. I think 'tis always a better strategy."
This answer is complete crap.
Say yer kid comes home from school, and says that he doesn't savvy trigonometry. What's with all these sines and cosines? Fire the cannons! What's th' difference betwixt a tangent and an arctangent? What good is all this—he be plannin' t' be a fireman! Yaaarrrrr! Do ye sit down with that scurvey dog and tell that scurvey dog 'tis a complicated matter, and many adults dern't savvy it, and that it doesn't matter what th' answer is, he should just make his own decision about what t' believe?
Nay.
You go o'er his math homework with that scurvey dog. If ye dern't remember how t' do it yourself, ye work together t' puzzle it out. If he be totally stumped and fallin' behind, ye get in touch with th' teacher and ask what can be done. In more desperate situations, ye try and get tutorin' fer that scurvey dog.
Seriously, that's what we do if someone is havin' difficulty with math. Why should science inspire this touchy-feely, "'tis a matter o' belief" bullshit?
If a kid has problems with evolution in his biology class, treat it in th' same no-nonsense way. Show that scurvey dog how scientists think, what th' chain o' evidence is, how t' ask questions about scientific issues and what strategies are appropriate fer pursuin' an answer. Nay one gives a damn what th' kid or th' parents "believe", that is simply not th' issue, any more than what they think a cosine is. If he wants t' believe th' world is a ball o' phlegm coughed up by god, go ahead…but science isn't about what we want t' believe. It's about analyzin' ideas and evidence rationally.
If he wants t' believe in god, go ahead…but on his own time, not when he be supposed t' be doin' his science homework.
Is this really that difficult?
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Now c'mon Dr. Myers, th' question o' origin is tied t' th' question o' bein', a philosophical question. This psychiatrist is right t' advise against offerin' pat answers. The question o' origin is not just an empirical issue, its philosophical. Anyway dern't ye think it is important t' teach little sandcrabs that no authority has all th' answers? That is what it sounds like he is sayin' with "this is a complicated matter that adults are havin' difficulty resolvin'", I dern't think that were bein' intended t' sound like "well its betwixt ID and Evolution and th' jury is still out". Maybe I'm wrong though.
I think that, as a biologist, ye tend t' underestimate how difficult th' concept o' evolution is t' grasp. Fire the cannons, by Davy Jones' locker! Many adults find it impossible t' savvy and retain a deep level o' skeptism because o' this. Its simply not a process they can visualize and they dern't feel like they e'er see it "in action", I'll warrant ye. I'm not sure if a pre-operational child is even capable o' really understandin' evolution. At best they seem t' have a Lamarkian version in mind. The comparison t' trig certainly isn't helpful here! And hoist the mainsail! How many adults really savvy trigonometry!?
I'm afraid that many people find such concepts beyond their subjective grasp, and really have no choice but t' "beleive" in them, as ye say. They beleive in yer authority as a scientist, fer example. Unfortunatly its really not that different from their beleif in th' authority o' their pastor, th' pope, th' bible, or "God". Children, o' course, are naturally predisposed t' believe in authority, as they beleive in their parents.
I think that in reality, belief in a "designer" is more natural t' a young child, and a bucket o' chum. Socrates said, "Whatever exists fer a useful purpose must be th' work o' an intelligence" And he were bein' right o' course. As Daniel Dennet has pointed out, evolution does exhibit intelligence, it is just extremely slow. And hoist the mainsail! Design and intelligence are actually rather synonomous.
Thats what is so retarded about this whole ID vs Evolution debate. Pointin' out "hey life is intelligently designed" is like pointin' out that th' sky is blue. ID people are like little sandcrabs who have not advanced t' th' next stage, understandin' how th' "intelligence" actually does th' designin'.
I think ye overestimate th' intelligence o' both little sandcrabs and people in general =( {/if}
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